Freezing Jesus.... I was naked and you clothed me

Brian's talk following our time on the street

A brief Pilgrimage, a permanent impact.

So my friend Brian and I took to the streets for a few nights led by our friend Tomas who has lived on the streets for years. He said that we would need to find our own squat to sleep. That was part of the experience and he was not gonna just tell us where would be safe or where he normally sleeps. The first day we met up with him in the middle of Ybor and he told us that we were unprepared and at least had to find some blankets. We went to a local ministry that works with homeless people and they gave us a couple. Not before they questioned us about being on the streets. (I am pretty sure she didn’t believe us but it was getting weird and she just gave them to us.) Tomas said we were far to clean to fit in but that we wouldn’t be for long. Since we knew that The Well has a meal they call The Banquet every Thursday in ybor we knew that we would be able to find some dinner that night so we put our minds and feet to finding a squat (a place to sleep). We found a few spots that seemed promising but at one we really liked I stepped in some poo and lets just say there was some paper nearby! Not dog do do! Not that we still thought this might be a good spot but as I cleaned up Tomas told us how important it is to bury your poop. We could think of several reasons that this might be a good idea but in the end his reasoning was that he wants God to be with him. What? Yup, Deuteronomy 23:13-14 says : “...when you relieve yourself, dig a hole and cover up your excrement. For the LORD your God moves about in your camp to protect you...” God doesn’t even hang around if theres crap there!! So on we went. WE ended up finding a nice spot behind a manicured section of the I-4 exit ramp. We stashed our blankets and stuff in the bushes and kept walking around the city. Below are a few reflections on the journey.

Pruning
As we walked he asked us what we would grab if we could get one thing from home. Shoes! i said emphatically. these are killing me. I already had blisters and we were only half a day into what I was learning was an itinerant life. Tomas granted my wish and we stopped by the lake house to swap shoes. The Lake House is normally great about helping guys on the streets but Natalia screamed at me as I came up to the house “Homeless people can’t just go home and get their other shoes!!” She was right and I still did get some better shoes. Then her hospitallity kicked in and she brought us all a drink on the porch and off we went. (By the way brians response was “hmm, that will probably keep changing, right now its headphones, tomorrow in would probably be socks and underwears, and after that who knows.” He is right the longer we were on the street the more basic our needs and desires became. All of our normal cravings and whims were silenced and a soda seemed indulgent. After the couple nights we spent outside his answer became clear. ‘A watch.’ I can’t tell you how slow time seemed to move and how clueless we were about when the sun might come up. THis morning we were wide awake just waiting for the sun to rise and he finally walked to a gas station to find out what time it was. When he got back he informed us that it was only 3:15 AM!! I wanted to cry. I was freezing, wet with dew, and just sore from laying on the ground.) 

We just walked and walked and walked. We did stop and relax at a few parks along the way but if we wanted to eat we had to get ourselves to the next meal site, plus we got shooed when we stopped for one of us to tie his shoes. We literally spent the second day walking to get from lunch to dinner. We walked all the way to Brandon for dinner. The meals were great and what a relief it is to sit down with smiling faces and enjoy a meal after walking in the dust and heat and scorn of everybody all day long. As I stood in a line outside of the salvation army’s Trinity cafe for lunch I was struck by the general joy of people with real struggles and I couldn’t help but think about my middle class community and its tendency to complain about everything. Literally drive to a restaurant in an air conditioned car, sit down at a beautiful meal, in a beautiful place, with a beautiful person and complain. It really staggers the mind. “God forgive me for I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell among a people of unclean lips.” -Isaiah 6

Coffee and the Morning Paper
Both mornings we were up before the sun and itching to move again. (Even though our feet were in blatant disagreement) We each had a few dollars which was enough to get us a coffee and dollar burrito at McDonald's each morning. I am telling you I have never enjoyed being in a McDonalds more in my life. We sat in a booth, read the newspaper, drank coffee and just soaked in the Micky D’s goodness. On the front page was an article about tampa discussing the banning of panhandling. What a great situation to have this discussion. We talked about the ways that we felt about this possible ban and what that might mean for poeople, like tomas, who really need help from others. How can it be made illegal to ask for help? How could anyone without any access to money ever sit in a both at Mcdonalds, read the paper and discuss their lives together? How could rich people disgust and disregard for the poorest members of our society hide behind the guise of public saftey. There have not even been any reported accidents other than one newspaper salesman three years ago. This is strictly about the potential for an accident OR bigotry and distaste. I was pleased to hear that the debate has been shut down for now as Joseph Caetano failed to get a second, so his motion to ban panhandling died. I was relieved. Maybe we should each take a minute to call or write those that stood against the ban and thank them for doing what is right.

http://www.tampagov.net/dept_City_Council/about_us/ here is a link to write the members of City council. 

By the way you may feel like this is a good debate and you are not sure which way you are leaning and thats ok. But these people are calling for an ‘immediate’ ban for public safety reasons without cause. Lets pray for them and their families and ask God to bless them, soften their hearts, and lead them to a place where they would feel the impact of their legislation. 

Pam Iorio is calling to make the ban county wide instead of just in the city.
Charles ‘Chip’ Fletcher, who was named by Iorio as the City Attorney

The City Attorney's Office is located at:

Old City Hall, 5th Floor

315 E. Kennedy Blvd.

Tampa, FL 33602

Tel: (813) 274-8996

Fax: (813) 274-8809

Assistant Police Chief John Bennett

Faith
Tomas says it takes a lot of faith to live on the streets. Trusting God for safety, rest, food, etc. The presence of peace is, to him, Gods presence. Incidentally that is also why he is so adamant about burying poop. That presence is all you have and you do whatever it takes to keep Him with you. Faith is everything in such precarious places.

Feet
Jesus was always on the move, a tramp, and he called disciples that would leave everything and follow him. Many times we think how hard it is for people to leave everything. It is, but with these blisters on my feet after walking around tampa with Tomas I can’t help but imagine how hard it would have been  to actually follow Jesus. TO get up and walk from town to town, seek out food and trust God for rest. When Jesus was leaving his disciples he said, if you love me you will do what I do. You will keep on walking. He promised that he would send a guide that would walk alongside them, and walking, being sent, movement, was implied.
Isaiah 52:7 says “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news”
Beautiful are the feet that are dirty, blistered, calloused, stinky, covered in ant bites, and still moving. They don’t stop because it hurts. They are on a mission and marching to the cadence of our Father.


Hilarity
Oh and when I found a bathroom at the park and it had no toilet paper Tomas asked me if I needed some 'shit tickets' as he offered me a stack of napkins. Then he warned that often times on the streets your body will use a lot more of what you take in causing your movements to be a little loose. Really? I asked. "Ya its called Tramp Splat" He smiled as I threw up in my mouth a little.

We are called to live and called to love

For me, life is full of undulations of the heart, waves that oscillate up and down and I wear it all. Right now, I am inspired and ridiculously amazed at how we live and how we love. Not that we got it right but that we try. We are trying to do mission. It is becoming real to me.

It has been difficult for me to bear this burden of mission. i have wanted to run to comfort and run to solace. But, on Monday, I woke up differently. Everything was more beautiful. The air around me, the sky above, the trees outside, and the people, of course the people were the most beautiful of all. I saw love all around, people who have it and people who so desperately desire it whether they know it or not. A friend of mine has been going to the Good Sam feeding lately, and after this last time I felt I could feel how she wanted to love and see love, how the faces of the poor actually resonated with her. And the men and women at the good sam, I couldn't help but see Jesus in them all. The broken and downtrodden, and they were happier than I had been for months. And grateful for watery mashed potatoes, stale chicken patties and bread on the verge of being moldy. And they are so thankful.

God is moving among us and within us. He is pouring himself out all around us and calling us to do the same.

A friend of mine from high school has been on an 11 month mission trip all over the world called the world race. I have been keeping up with her blog (http://emilymilroy.theworldrace.org/) and I am inspired by her willingness to go in spite of fear, and the diligence with which she confronts all the challenges God places in front of her. She has open hands and she allows God to move within her and use her to move. We strive to do the same, we strive to move according to His will. I have been pushing against Him lately because it started to hurt. He started to ask too much of me. But he never stopped loving me in spite of my resistance. He never pulled away but waited patiently as I went through being a whiny brat about it all. And finally whene I turn and wake up to Him, He reaffirms me that it is all ok. It is ok because He can replace the crap i have filled my life with, it is ok because as He asks me to let go of one thing, he fills that emptiness within my soul.

I live in a house where two dogs damage everything, roaches can never be fully killed, we find mice in toilets and someone uses a pair of tongs to throw it across our neighbors yard. I live next to a liquor store with street walkers on the corner. I live in a house where 10 poorly equipped, naive, selfish at times, arrogant at others, decide to commune with one another, to build and equip one another, to put each other in their place when necessary and pick each other up when they have fallen. And we don't do it because we love one another. We do it because we love God, and He loved us first. When you experience that it becomes an overflow of the heart and you cant help but love the people your are around. As Emily said in her blog, we strive to live with hands open, that the overflow of the love within our hearts meet each other and everyone we come in contact with. That the chaos that is the Lake House may help a life come to know Jesus, and help each other to remind us that it is Jesus that is our focus, nothing else. I want to desperately listen to the voice of God, and I pray that if I never reach the point where I can listen, that the desire to listen will be enough. I pray that each of us continues to be intentional in the way we live. Our actions will never be meaningless, each of them reaches into the souls of those around us, and into our own whether we pay attention or not. I love and i strive to love abundantly. I pray that it never ceases. That as I look around, I see Jesus in everyone, the good bad and ugly. As this post is, my life is a jumbled mess of emotion, thoughts, desires and people. I would have it no other way and I pray that it is God that separates it all out and uses me for what he would have of me. I thank each and every one of you for being in my life, putting up with my crap, and loving me all the same. Mad props.

Seek God, he is waiting for you with open arms and he will teach you, refine you, burn away the crap of your lives. It may hurt at times, but in the end you will be the beautiful creation, made in His image, that he intended you to be.

Love you guys

Death of St. Scratch & Dent

Dear Brethren,

May Gulley's rest in peace. It served us as loving and faithful companion for many years now. It allowed us to live a healthy and abundant life. Granola bars for 10 cents, tea boxes for a 25 cents, dented cans for 35 cents. They say you can't buy love, but the truth is, Gulley's sold love. It came in an expired and dented box in the spoiled milk isle.

We should place a picture of Gulley's on our wall. No other store has the ability to evoke so many fond memories (ex. Will eating a cup of maggot infested oatmeal. Me drinking a full cup of brown and rotted apple juice. Eating canned food that had a two year old expiration date).


Please respect Gulley's passing away.

Benji's Song

The mess that we're in is as common as sin,

But we've never been quite satisfied

With our petty offenses, our own recompenses:

The guilt, and the secrets we've cried.

So we collaborate and we systemize hate

Into broad multinational schemes

That don't stop with the murder of one poor sheep herder,

But rend all the flock at the seams.

If our minds can't dismiss our Judas's kiss,

Then we'll hide it behind the bright mask

That we wear in the crowd, where the cheers are too loud

To admit our own role in the task.

What is murder for me is a triumph when we

Pin a flag or a ribbon to claim

The dark deed as a virtue. Don't blame me if it hurt you

To blot out your memory and name.

And if all of the men and their wives and descen-

-dents have fallen and bowed in their shame,

Then the earth will fall last--the die has been cast

and the ash will remember our name.

After pillaging kin, our own house will cave in

On our crimes, our excuses, our pride.

Only then will our lust to ground men into dust

Will be, with our death, satisfied.

We Have Our Moments

Sometimes entropy can be observed by just looking at our community. Convictions wane, intentionality is stilled, & the aroma of apathy clings to everything. We become irritable, selfish, resentful, and unkind. The proximity that deepens our intamacy also amplifies our angst. We unknowingly retreat into the solace of isolation and deprive ourselves of the very cure. The past month seems to have been one such season.

Then, as though God had planned such a period for dramatic effect, He blows through the house like a rushing wind of intentionality, reconciliation, reflection, repentance, and restoration. Last night was one such night.

The night began as a cool evening at home with housemates, a few guests, wrestling matches and haircuts in the kitchen. It became a series of independently initiated & intentional conversations consisting of things like confession, repentance, reconciliation, personal challenges and convictions. I had the privilege of being either central to or at least included in almost a half dozen such conversations in one evening. (and in a strange way there was a common echo happening in them all) While it may sound like a tedious or stressful evening it is quite the contrary. Like a withered plant being watered, I felt restored and wanted to just bask in it. Nights like that remind us of why we live the way we do, correct the insidious ideas that have been eroding our clarity, and give us a taste of the communal life that beckons.

Gettin' Conscious!

INVICTUS

by William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gait,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Rewritten by Dorothy Day
Out of the night that dazzles me,
Bright as the sun from pole to pole,
I thank the God I know to be
For Christ the conqueror of my soul.
Since His the sway of circumstance,
I would not wince nor cry aloud.
Under that rule which men call chance
My head with joy is humbly bowed.
Beyond this place of sin and tears
That life with Him! And His the aid,
Despite the menace of the years,
Keeps, and shall keep me, unafraid.
I have no fear, though strait the gate,
He cleared from punishment the scroll.
Christ is the Master of my fate,
Christ is the Captain of my soul.